O Solo Mama

Single momhood, adoption, middle age. All together now.

China’s Stolen Children: An interview with Kay Johnson

Some of you have already seen the British documentary China’s Stolen Children, made a decade after The Dying Rooms, by the same investigative team. Recently, the film was shown to a chapter of Families with Children from China. A panel discussion that followed included Kay Johnson, author of Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son. Osolomama nabbed Kay selfishly before the holidays to ask her some questions about the film and about the child trafficking and adoption situation in China. The interview that follows is distilled from several e-mail exchanges and close to two hours of conversation over the phone.

To orient those who have never seen the film, here is a summary and a hefty clip.

The film follows several stories. Some of the main characters:

Detective Zhu is an ex-cop who hunts down child traffickers.

Chen Jie is a little boy who was stolen from his parents.

Wang Li is a child trafficker who sold his own child.

Way Ling and her boyfriend had no license to have a baby because they were unmarried. They thought about selling their daughter but eventually arranged an informal adoption.

________

O: China’s Stolen Children is mostly about kidnapping and trafficking within China. It doesn’t deal with adoption overtly except at the very end when an informal adoption is mentioned. (Way Ling’s baby is adopted informally.) Yet adoption is the question mark hanging all around the edges. I certainly felt that way all the way through. How about you?

KJ: I was thinking that the key thread tying all of this to our adoptions is the birth planning policy and the way it coerces parents to find “alternatives” for out-of-plan children. The young couple tie the story of the documentary directly to the kind of adoptions I have studied for many years. In an earlier era, people in their situation were more likely to abandon the child, assuming she would be picked up and adopted by someone. I wish the filmmakers had told us something about the “informal” adoption. But I think it sort of strayed from what they wanted to talk about—a more sensationalistic story about child trafficking and the damage done by the one-child policy. I think the story of this damage is also a mundane one that you can find in almost every corner of Chinese society.* (see end of post)

O: This is the same group of film-makers who made The Dying Rooms. How do the two films compare in your view and how do you think the Chinese government feels about such investigations?

KJ: The Chinese government does not like to see foreign reporters out investigating these things. No doubt about that. Especially THESE foreign reporters who they believe have a purely political agenda of trashing China. They proved that in The Dying Rooms. They [the government] don’t expect a fair or reasonable portrayal from them and they think they are part of an interntaional effort to condemn China. Indeed, their implication—incorrect in my view—that the Chinese government neither cares nor does anything about kidnapping is wrong and doesn’t even stand up to their own evidence. It is a deep prejudice they bring to all of their filmmaking about China. But this one is far less marred by their general anti-China views than The Dying Rooms. The interviews are great, though I suspect some of the language is a bit contrived to suit the filmmakers’ needs and desires.

O: Can you give us an example?

KJ: One part that seemed a bit contrived was some of the language used in the Way Ling interview and she might have used it to please the filmmakers. That was the word “sell” because this couple ends up not doing that, not selling their child. They ended up having an informal adoption and generally people do not use the word “sell” into adoption even if some money may be involved, as in private adoptions in the US. The word that is normally used is “give away,” as in you send your daughter to be married in a family or you “give a gift.”

O: What is the government of China trying to do about the problem of kidnapping and trafficking? In the film, the parents of some kidnapped children seemed to embarrass their local governments when they lobbied Beijing.

KJ: I think you are right about the local government feeling admonished and maybe even receiving black marks for this. But “the government” is many different levels and Beijing often reacts by trying to help in these situations. It depends on whose attention you can get. Same in the US, I would think—if you can grab the attention of a big shot in the FBI you may get more resources mobilized on your behalf if your child is missing. But it is not about saving face; it is about political power, related to political reputation. Anyway, the point is the government is not trying to hide kidnapping as a problem.

The filmmakers seem to say the government wants to keep this a secret, but really what they say is that the Chinese government doesn’t “want the world to know”—whatever that could mean in the era of the Internet. In fact, this is the hottest story in China today. One cannot turn on the TV without hearing a story about kidnapped children, PSAs about watching your child in public, how to go shopping with your children, how to pick them up at the school gate to ensure their safety, taking pictures of your child, and so forth. Every time a trafficker is caught, that person is paraded in front of the cameras, vilified, and denounced. So I can’t accept the stereotypical portrayal of the Chinese government wanting to cover this up. Of course, they do not want to look incompetent in the face of this problem and want to tout mainly their successes and hide their failures. But that is a different matter.

O: Let’s talk about adoption in China. When I was adopting the agency told us flat-out that no one in China would ever adopt because of the importance of blood lines. This is obviously not the case. There has been a huge amount of informal adoption and it’s also tied up with the one-child policy.

KJ: I have heard this too. Even in urban areas in China, many people believe this but there are many informal and unregistered adoptions in China, and registered ones as well. Unregistered adoptions are revealed by looking at census data. In 1990, demographers estimated from sample census survey data that there were as many as 400,000 adoptions per year and that this number—as well as the percentage of girls—was increasing. Couples often arrange “informal” adoptions secretly through friends or relatives. You know someone who is going to have an overquota child, and they know you want to adopt a girl, or someone helps find an adoptive family. After the adoption, the birth family may know where the child lives and may see her from afar though often the adoptive family doesn’t allow contact.

There are fewer registered adoptions because of the restrictive legal requirements (childless, over age 35 which has dropped to age 30). In 2000, when the legal age was dropped to 30, we know there were 50,000 registered adoptions. After that it fell. In 2001 there were 35,000 and it’s stayed around 35,000 – 45,000 every year. In 2008, there were 37,000 registered domestic adoptions. These are usually recorded as adoptions of foundlings but it could be your neighbour’s relative’s friend’s over-quota child who is hidden and then handed over to you—a childless couple over 30—to register as a foundling.

In the early 1990s, there were lots of real foundlings. Some orphanages would fill the hallways with cribs. There aren’t many foundlings now. There are some, but they’re few and far between, and so people who want to adopt find it harder to find them.

O: And some of the children who are adopted have been kidnapped, right?

Yes, people do buy kidnapped children. People have no sympathy for those who adopt at the expense of other people’s pain but do you really think the traffickers go up to people and say, “I have this kidnapped child for you?” When people start arranging adoptions themselves, you can see how it creates middlemen like Wang Li.

Tonight a friend of mine watched the film, an adoptive parent with two older teenage girls. She made an interesting observation: How is Wang Li so different from a private US adoption agency that has sprung to life and makes a business off of China adoption or any other kind of adoption? I’m not sure how far I’d go with that, but I do see the similarities between an “agent” like Wang Li and an adoption facilitator/private adoption lawyer in the US. Some of them are sleazy too. And some make a lot of money facilitating the connection between birth mother and adoptive parents.

I thought Wang Li also had a pretty good understanding of what he was doing. He said he was merely a middleman who got the two sides together. The one-child policy created the supply and the demand—the people who had over-quota children that they needed to hide or pay for in fines and the people who didn’t have the children they wanted to have. He got 3000 RMB [1 US dollar = 6.8 RMB] out of a 12,000-RMB payment and at the end of the film they showed him supporting an older family member and a couple of kids. He wasn’t wealthy.** (see end of post)

O: We’ve also heard about over-quota children being confiscated and sent to orphanages. You are pretty convinced that most of those children were children who had been adopted already.

KJ: When there were many foundlings, people adopted children right off of the street—Chinese adopters were taking most of them although there were so many of them many made it through to the orphanages as well. The majority of domestic adoptions I’ve learned about were foundlings who were taken into homes. That spontaneous adoption was mostly illegal because the adopters were usually too young or were not childless. What the government tried to do was create channels to get the abandoned children into the government’s hands. In order for orphanages to get abandoned babies, they have to take them out of the hands of Chinese adopters or pick them up before adopters do. The orphanage incentive programs might have begun that way when abandonment started to decline, but it’s important to remember that the government is also trying to crack down on illegal behaviour and get people to stop picking up these children and taking them in without government approval.

Directly or indirectly, this is about population control, which remains very tight in many places. If you are a local official and you perform badly with population control, you can lose as much as a year’s salary. The penalities can be severe. Most of the confiscated children that I have learned about are children who were found and adopted in violation of the adoption law and therefore counted as an illegal overquota child living in the area. It’s technically legal to confiscate an illegally adopted child but illegal to confiscate a birth child.

O: You mentioned how the film brings together stories about how people manipulate, fabricate, or plan alternatives to avoid punishment or get what they want under the one-child policy. This film really puts that policy on trial, doesn’t it?

That’s what I find in all my research and am continually struck by—the deep scars that have been left because of this policy. One of the things about the notion of “trafficking” that I don’t like is that it focuses people on the market as the cause and not on the policy. I like the way this film ties it together with the one-child policy.

Who puts a price on the head of a child? It’s the policy. Sometimes the fine for an over-quota child is five times the parents’ annual income. I don’t know if you noticed but there was an overquota child in the film and the fine for having him was 20,000 RMB. I remember finding a child in the 1990s whose name meant “3000”. His parents named him “3000,” Sanqian, after the fine they had to pay for him. Children are priced by the one-child policy. Today the fines are much much higher, and so is the price of a child, whether it is your own birth child or one you obtain from someone else—a trafficker or a birth parent.

O: Where do you think the policy is headed? Don’t you agree it has been necessary?

KJ: That’s a whole other conversation but I don’t believe it was necessary to begin with. Throughout East Asia, fertility has declined everywhere without anything like a one child policy. In Taiwan it’s 1.1. By the time the one-child policy was implemented by the end of the 1970s, fertility in China had already fallen to around 2.8 or 2.7. Once they got contraception into all areas of the countryside, people reduced fertility voluntarily. Then they imposed the one-child policy. A lot of cities were below 2 before the policy was announced. And China was still quite poor then. Since then, all the things associated with lower fertility have happened, such as the economic boom.

O: China’s Stolen Children was recently shown to a group of parents who adopted from China. What concerns did they have after watching the film?

KJ: They were concerned about many of the same things you hear on the lists, such as wondering about the likelihood of a kidnapped or seized child getting into the international adoption pool. One woman talked about what she would do if she were in this situation and she said she would develop an open adoption. She asked questions about how she might pursue that. My opinion is that if you go looking for your child’s birthparents and you find she was seized or kidnapped and you aren’t willing to try to create some sort of open adoption or ongoing communication to salve the wounds of the birth parents, you should reconsider searching and reopening those wounds. Of course, it’s easy to say but harder when it’s right there in front of you.

There was some discussion around whether or not it is safe to take children to China, almost like a fear or dislike of China. One of organizers of the event said she had a friend who said how dangerous it was because your child might wander off and get kidnapped! Yet we know adoptees benefit from going back. I’ve taken both my kids to China many times. Now that my oldest daughter is in university, she appreciates China as just an ordinary place—good and bad—like the United States. I think it’s good for kids to have a view of China that’s normalized, neither glorified nor villified. My daughter feels this has been important in being comfortable with who she is.

O: To sum up, what do you think the relationship is between kidnapping and trafficking in China and the international adoption program?

KJ: As for the term “trafficking,” we create an entire industry from getting children from China, with payments to adoption agencies, social workers, and so on. It’s all on the backs of these children. If trafficking means paying money, then we participate in it too. Trafficking seems to mean everything from what we do in adoption to criminal kidnapping or facilitation of an adoption by a trafficker who doesn’t coerce anybody. Adoption in and from China takes place in the context of the Chinese government forcing someone’s hand with the threat of financial ruin because of an over-quota child.

But I believe that the vast majority of kidnapped children are not sold to orphanages because there’s more money to be made in the kind of adoption brokering you see in the film. Girls are more likely to be adopted normally than boys. Kidnapped children are more likely to be boys because they are less likely to be available for adoption and therefore can draw a higher price on the adoption market. And orphanages don’t pay that well even if they do have so-called “incentive programs” for finders.

O: What about the long-term prospects of the adoption program?

KJ: It depends on how much they choose to prop it up. It could never be revived to its peak (13,000 – 14 000 children per year). This year, 50% of children adopted to the US have special needs and the total number is down from 8,000 in 2005 to around 3,000 today. Think this trend will continue.

O: What about parents who do abandon today?

KJ: In my experience, now and in the past, parents who do abandon tend to abandon locally—they don’t want the child to go into orphanage or go abroad necessarily. And these are not voluntary abandonments—they’re involuntary or pressured, as in the past.

______

*Kay pointed out that, “The case of the boy in the park is also an adoption. Wang Li arranges for him to be adopted by the couple in the hotel room.”

**My copy of the film wasn’t the greatest and it kept cutting out. I guessed at the number of people in the room. Kay later clarified: “In fact there are two older family members in the scene, probably his elderly parents. And two children—his son and a younger daughter (I guess). The guy is clearly a scumbag, with a very challenged sense of ethics, but he definitely is not rich or even particularly well off judging from his surroundings.”

Filed under: adoption, films, kids, life, searching , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Holiday truffles to take or make

This is my foray into food photography. Featured below, dark and light truffles with powdered sugar, cocoa, crushed walnut, and pink sprinkles (Simone’s invention). The recipe is included below if you’re struggling with something last-minute. They aren’t hard but they do impress and they’re fun to make with kids.

Also, please take one! From our house to yours, best wishes for a wonderful holiday and a happy new year.

Truffles

Basically, a truffle is made from a ganache (a mixture of chopped chocolate and heavy cream), flavouring, and coating. There is some chilling involved–about 5 hours in the fridge or overnight. To keep things really simple, buy a package of milk chocolate or semi-sweet dark chocoate chips. A variation with white chocolate is given at the end of the recipe but we found it behaved a little differently. You can go nuts and buy more expensive chocolate and chop it yourself but you don’t need to, especially if you’re pressed for time.

To make 30 truffles:

  • 8 oz milk chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate
  • 3/4 cup of heavy (whipping) cream
  • 2 tbsp butter
  • 1 tsp flavouring such as vanilla or liquer
  • coatings such as cocoa powder (I recommend Fry’s), powdered sugar, crushed nuts, or sprinkles

To make the ganache:

Place the choclate chips in a metal bowl or pan and set aside. Heat the whipping cream and the butter over medium flame, stirring constantly until it boils. Pour the boiling stuff over the chips in the metal bowl immediately. Let stand for 5 minutes. Whisk until smooth. Add 1 tsp of flavouring–vanilla or liquer. Refrigerate covered for 5 hours or overnight.

To assemble the truffles:

Once your ganache is ready, roll it into little balls, and coat it with the stuff of your choosing by rolling it around. What we found is that doing a bunch of coatings at the same time created a lot of cross-contamination, so again, if you are pressed for time, just do one coating (cocoa is the classic) or do two coatings in separate batches. Keep your truffles separate according to coatings because they contaminate each other in the container. Nothing like a nice smudgy spot on a white truffle.

Tip: If you are serving these at your own place, coat them again just before serving. They will look instantly fresh.

Martha suggests doing a mixture of milk and semisweet chocolate. She also  forces you to scrape a vanilla bean into the cream and butter mixture (sigh) but this does ensure the addition of vanilla extract or liquer won’t screw up the ganache. Too much extract/liquer is what I believe may have contributed to our initial failure when we upped these quantities somewhat with white chocolate. Or maybe the white chocolate behaves differently–who knows? After chilling, the ganache was too soft so I just melted some additional white chocolate, added it to the mixture and chilled again. Then it was OK. (The thing is, 1 tsp isn’t a lot of flavour so I think we bumped it to 2, probably which caused our mini-disaster.)

Bottom line, substitute white chocolate for dark but stick with 1 tsp of flavouring for every 8 ounces. The butter and cream measurements also stay the same.  (To my mind, there is nothing like the white truffle with the cocoa coating hitting your mouth bitter and finishing in melting sweetness.)

Store your truffles covered in the fridge for 2 weeks or in the freezer for 2 months. Bring them to room temperature before you serve and remember the recoating tip so they look fresh every time. The ones with powered sugar loose their dusted look in the fridge.

Filed under: food, kids, life , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Six-year old ELF is still a good adoption yarn

We’re incurable Christmas nutters here and watch Christmas movies at least every other night. Last night we watched Elf and I was struck again by what a nice adoption storyline it has. What I like about it:

  • No one’s a complete rat and no one’s a suffering saint.
  • Papa Elf doesn’t scream and rage when Frosty the Snowman mentions Buddy’s “real dad.” (Wouldn’t be very elf-like if he did.)
  • Buddy says he wants to search to find his true self. Nobody stops him.
  • Six-foot Buddy raised by elves is a great metaphor for what adoption might feel like to many adoptees and what it sometimes feels like to a-parents.
  • Families can include as many people as you want them to.
  • “You sit on a throne of lies” is a great line that suits adoption when adoption’s baaaad.

I know Simone has always loved this movie, and I wonder if there isn’t something in the storyline that she finds comforting or validating. So I googled “Elf, adoption” and found one positive review of the film by a first mom in an open adoption; one positive but very short review from AdoptionMosaic; and two bad reviews from 1. an NFCA’er and 2. an adoptive parent who pleaded with “the leaders of the motion picture industry to stop messing with our families and our kids”.

Ooooo-kay. So without further ado . . .

Here are clips from three of the more substantive reviews:

From the first mom:

The question then becomes, from an adoption and reunion point of view, “Where does Buddy really fit in?” Does he want to go back to his adoptive family, with whom he has spent his whole life, or does he want to stay with his newly discovered birthfamily, with whom he shares so much physically, and in which he has so much more to teach and to learn?

My response, and the filmmaker’s response as well, is to ask, “Why does it have to be one or the other?” Buddy has discovered another extension of family. Just like he doesn’t choose Santa over Papa Elf, he doesn’t have to choose between one family and the other. He can, and does, have both.

From the adoptive parent:

I recently previewed the movie Elf for my kids. What a funny movie; what a disappointment for adoptive families. Elf is about an orphaned baby who accidentally winds up in Santa’s toy sack. He is transported to the North Pole and raised by elves. Thirty years later, he overhears “the truth about who he really is,” and is finally informed that he was adopted. Upon learning this, he decides he must go in search of his “real” father.

Ouch. I cringe every time I think about my nieces and nephews who had already seen the movie and probably had their suspicions confirmed that we are not really the parents of their cousins. I know that many people will find me too “sensitive,” but I’m tired of movies and other media that expose my kids to messages that make them question the validity of our family.

From the NFCA’er:

When Buddy’s elf dad finally tells him he’s adopted, I found myself wincing. Buddy, age 30, is seated in his father’s lap, and the chair strains under his weight. Surprised by the news, Buddy sets off for the Big Apple to find his “real” father. His biological dad, corporate tough guy James Caan, initially rejects Buddy. But his dad’s wife thinks it’s just wonderful that her husband has another child. Is this the simplistic message we want to send about adoption searches that lack mutual consent?

Notice a pattern here?

Filed under: adoption, kids, life, searching , , , , , , , , , ,

And the search goes on: We hear from Research-China

A few days ago I received my daughter’s Birth Parent Search Analysis from Research-China.

For anyone interested in searching in China, I urge you to start with this organization. Though I had to wait many months for the report, the cost was minimal (US$50) and the information was very helpful. Despite the fact that my daughter was born in the previous decade before finding ads were published—and that saying something definitive about the China adoption program then is harder than painting a picture of 2002 – present—there were specific observations and facts that piqued my curiosity to no end.

Biggest one: My daughter’s finding location is rare. Between 2002 – and 2008, only one child has been found at that location (not my daughter, who was born and found earlier). This assures me to some degree that the finding location is probably real. I have another reason to assume the location real which I won’t disclose here. However, because of this information, my next steps are obvious and I can “filter” somewhat while continuing to pursue this particular avenue as well. I no longer have that thrashing about what-the-bleep-bleep-am-I-doing kind of feeling.

The report also stated something about my daughter’s birthdate that only a person who had pored over hundreds of finding reports would be likely to notice. You know what they say about surgery: go to the person who performs that procedure all the time.

Each report contains finding location statistics on your child’s orphanage, which are often quite sobering. These statistics are in many ways the heart of the report, as they reveal a lot. Every parent who adopted from China deserves to have this information, no matter how disturbing.

Does my report tell me the whole story and does it prove that everything was on the up-and-up? Of course not. As Brian commented: “Like missing links in the fossil record—we can make assumptions, but until we recover the evidence we don’t know.”

Indeed. That’s about where I am right now. Ready to go where it leads.

To get your report, go here.

Filed under: adoption, kids, life, searching , , , , , , , ,

All this God talk makes me nervous

Let’s start with what I’m not. I’m not a pagan—I believe in God even if I look like a pagan to outsiders. My faith is shared only in conversation with a few people I trust. (Not the dogmatists. I don’t trust them.)

I also think it’s fine to be adopted into a God-loving family and be raised as a God-loving person. If you’re going to accept adoption for what it is, being raised by substitute parents who are basically given all the rights of parenthood, then you can’t argue against the right to raise adopted children in the faith of the a-parents because that’s what parents do.

I’m not saying that’s necessarily ethical because when children have a faith and they follow it, indoctrination feels all wrong. I’m saying there’s no argument against it according to the way we understand adoption. The argument against adoption of Canadian First Nations and Native American children by white people is an anti-assimilation argument because of possible cultural extinction (language, faith, and so forth) and it is justifiable and necessary. This is not that argument.

So what is my beef? Two parts. Essentially, God doesn’t direct anyone’s adoption journey. Certainly, God doesn’t provide justification for children being deprived of their orginal parents through adoption. God is not the adoption whisperer—he doesn’t pick out babies or child siblings for people 8000 miles away and then tell them they should go and get them. It’s not that the “hand of God” isn’t, but that it’s unpredictable—outrageous or unimaginable rather than the very thing the person was imagining. God also helps those who help themselves, which means using your brain to figure out if your journey is reasonable, ethical and justifiable and not resorting to God babble.

Second: adopted children and faith. This is an under-analyzed area. If the focus of adoption gradually shifts away from very young children to older children in need (as many hope it will) this issue may receive more attention. Already things are crackling a little. Currently, for example, the Russian Orthodox church is concerned about a small number of Orthodox kids in Catholic orphanages and has arranged to offer them appropriate religious services. In 2005, the government of Indonesia also refused permission for 300 Muslim children orphaned by the tsunami to be placed in a Christian orphanage. Meanwhile in Iraq there’s an Assyrian Christian monk who won’t let the kids in his orphanage be adopted by Muslim families because they have been baptized Christians. And they can’t be adopted by European or North American Christian families either because Islamic law doesn’t recognize adoption.

Unlike in the West, orphaned Muslim children do not take the name and family relationships of their new parents. Instead, Islam allows “kefala,” a type of guardianship in which children retain their original family identities.

But U.S. immigration law considers kefala insufficient for immigration purposes. Moreover, anyone raising a child under the kefala system must promise to raise the child as a Muslim. “The chances of adopting a Muslim child is nil,” said Roni Anderson, a former Southern Baptist missionary who worked with Father Marcus for 12 years—until this year. “They’d prefer the child be stranded than be adopted by a Christian.”

Get the feeling the kids are pawns here? Yup, so do I. On the other hand, I think there are some emerging issues worth considering. Some thoughts:

  • Adopted children of faith who are old enough to discuss ideas should be the primary decision-makers around faith. Some will wish to convert and some will, in hindsight, be happy they did. Others will be happy they didn’t. That is their business.
  • Families brought together by adoption might be counseled on the realities of being a multi-faith family.
  • All other things being equal, some preference might be given to multi-faith couples where one partner practises the faith of the about-to-be-adopted child.
  • Faith, and its significance to personal identity and how children make meaning of the world, should be protected, not obliterated.
  • When you drag God into it, just remember that God becomes whatever you need God to be—the motivation, the reason, the justification—the detour, the false step, the right step. And that’s not God; that’s us.

Filed under: adoption, critical thinking, kids, life , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Time craps on “The Blind Side”

Time’s Richard Corliss has a thoughtful review of The Blind Side in which he considers race, adoption, and “saving” children.

An excerpt:

Filed under: adoption, kids, life , , , , , ,

“God Directed Me”

If you’ve read this and this here, you may be assuming what I will write about. But when I clicked on the story announced by the words “God Directed Me” there was a surprise waiting: an African-American appears-to-be-single woman who adopted her foster child at age 5 (one of many she had looked after over the years) and an adoption caseworker who is an adoptee and found her original family because she needed to.

Too bad how we’ve gotten into this habit of rushing to judgment. See a phrase like “God directed me” and it’s probably some nutter who thinks God ordained this adopted child just for her *before time* or that by adopting, the kid instantly inherited her blood or DNA. Or the latest: God took the birthmother’s DNA and mixed it with the DNA of the two adoptive parents all because the a-mom’s mother swears the baby is the spittin’ image of her as a baby.

(Refuse to link to any of these stories but if you don’t believe me I can dig them up for you.)

You know, sometimes people are just led.

There is no doubt that Frances Lewis of Brewton, Alabama, is a believer and that she believes in what she is doing. So do most people, most of the time. It’s actually hard to recognize something as really bad and muster all your resources to do it anyway. I believe in my heart that most people who adopt or surrender for adoption have good intentions. A smaller number do not. Some, like Ms. Lewis, are to be admired for avoiding most of adoption’s ethical dilemmas. The government agency she deals with actually believes it is beneficial for children to know and be involved with their original parents. Her adopted child was not a highly coveted white infant but a full-grown child who needed a parent. She fostered so many children without ever so much lifting a grasping forefinger and saying, “God directed me.” She never paid the devil. She never committed “cultural genocide”–a phrase that used to mean the destruction of a people but is now used to describe transracial adoption. Her child’s OBC will be unsealed when and if she decides to access it.

Actually, you know, I can’t find too much wrong with Ms. Lewis. And so I wonder, when adoption is routinely put down because it is routinely uplifted for all the wrong reasons, if the people who only ever put it down ever imagine her.

Ms. Lewis.

When they, you know. Criticize. Gloat. Carp. Complain. Hurl their mighty thunderbolts.

Bet not.

Well, my vent’s over. Now onto fixing adoption.

Filed under: adoption, fatherlessness, kids, life, solo life , , , , , , , ,

“Instant adoption” promoted by UK charity

At this blog I learned of a new adoption scheme being proposed by Coram, a children’s charity in the UK. The plan is as follows:

  • Babies taken into care immediately after birth (substance abuse and imprisonment mentioned most commonly) are transferred to prospective adoptive parents when they are days old.
  • An agreement is made between the PAPS and the natural mother through Coram about visitation and contact.
  • The natural mother has one year to “get her life together” (in the parlance of these schemes) and reclaim her child.
  • The charity commits to helping the natural mother do the above.
  • If she can’t do the above within one year, the PAPS become the adoptive parents of said child.

The goal of this approach is to “prevent very young babies from being moved around while decisions are made about their future.” Theoretically, it could also prevent placement in a sub-standard foster home or homes, said to be at the root of attachment disorder.

According to the head of adoption at Coram, Jeanne Kaniuk,

[T]here are so many advantages it should be taken up by all children’s services departments. She said: ‘It is crazy that there are not more local authorities using concurrent planning. It is a great system for parents who want to adopt a baby, although obviously they carry all the risk and have to be quite courageous.

‘It is very sympathetic to the birth parents, who are given help and support and every chance to show they can care for their baby. It speeds up the process and a decision is made early. And, of course, it is good for the baby.’

It should be noted that only a small handful of children placed by Conram have been reunited with their original mothers. Also, there is no discussion of what happens to the adoption (how closed or open it remains) once it is finalized.

The charity is urging other jurisdictions to implement its scheme, known as concurrent planning, because it’s better for everyone, faster, and about £25,000 cheaper for the system than your average adoption.

Thoughts? Comments?

Filed under: adoption, kids, life , , , , , , , , ,

Save the Children dishes the “orphans” statistics

The well-known international charity Save the Children has done its own research in Central and Eastern Europe, Indonesia, and Africa and has concluded that four out of five “orphans” have, in fact, one living parent, usually living in the same community as the orphanage.

According to Voice of America,

In a new report, the charity describes how children are treated as commodities in an industry that recruits children in order to profit from international adoption and child trafficking.

Louise Melville from Save the Children says in some countries running an orphanage is lucrative because, she says, governments and well-intentioned donors invest heavily in orphan care.

“Orphanages tend to attract a lot of donations from well meaning individuals, churches and other organizations,” she said. “And I think a lot of people don’t realize that the vast majority of children in those orphanages have one or both parents living in the same community as their child.”

Had a hard time locating the actual name of this report but I finally found it in this press release from Save the Children Canada. The report is called Keeping Children Out of Harmful Institutions. I have yet to find a link to the report itself, but the Canadian press release contains more information about the publication and the findings than the Voice of America article. Example, from the Canadian newswire:

In Central and Eastern Europe almost every child in an institution – 98% – has at least one living parent. In Indonesia that figure is at 94% and in Ghana 90%.

It’s time for everyone to retire the 143 million figure when talking about adoption.

Filed under: adoption, kids, life , , , , , , , ,

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